Yesterday, after several
failed attempts, I finally made it to Shoppers Drug Mart to mail out the last
of my thank-you cards and send back the size “6 month” NY Giants hat I ordered for Sam (apparently
my four month old has the head of a 12 month old). As we were walking
through the store, Isla kept anxiously saying “Mommy there’s a boy following me”. In the span of about two
minutes she must have said it at least 6 times. “The boy” she was loudly
referring to was in fact a lady. Visibly annoyed, this lady corrected my
daughter and exclaimed “I’m a GIRL and
I’m NOT following you”. Isla was not buying it. With
her little nose crinkled, she then basically implied this lady was a liar and said “no, you’re a boy”. To make things even
more awkward, this conversation took place with Isla peeking out from her
hiding spot behind my legs. It was then we discovered that this lady was on her
way to the post office as well and, naturally, would take the place in line behind us; thus confirming Isla’s suspicion that she was being followed.
I’m sure every parent has
had these embarrassing and awkward moments as a result of their toddler. While
I could see the humour in this situation, I was surprised at this woman’s
reaction. In Isla’s defence, she did kinda look like a boy. It didn’t help that
she had on a big, square coat and weird little beanie. Honestly, if you ask
me, she could have gone either way; but that’s beside the point. What I thought
was strange was the look this woman gave me while repeatedly insisting that she
wasn’t a boy. It was as if she was telepathically saying “she’s your daughter – shut her up!” I don’t know, maybe it’s just
me, but when it comes to the absent filter of a two-year-old, there’s not much
that can be done aside from inadvertently creating an even bigger spectacle.
Kids say ridiculous
things; sometimes embarrassing, sometimes awkward, often times endearing. I
think it’s unfair for society to place a responsibility on the parents to somehow
sensor the perception of their small children. Of course teaching them manners and self-awareness takes time, patience, and the acceptance that you
will sometimes have those mortifying moments when your barely two year old
calls the woman at the bank (far too
young to be a grandmother) ‘Nana’. That was Isla’s favourite thing to do
when she was learning to talk. Unfortunately my ability to perform damage-control
has always been lacking and after a few seconds of nervous laughter I would always
say something stupid like “oh, it’s
probably just your haircut”. Yep, that's right, best course of action when a person
suddenly feels insecure about their appearance is to find a way to insult their
haircut. Write that down.
Experiencing cringe-worthy
moments on behalf of your innocent children is all part of being a parent. If I
had some good advice on how to handle it, now would be a good time to offer it
to you. Unfortunately all I can say is that you’re not alone. I imagine one thing you can do is to hope the person victim or witness to the words of
your toddler realizes that it’s silly to be offended by them. What I can
suggest is that you go home and write it down because, looking
back, it will one day be hilarious (if
it’s not already).
Isla once insisted the
bearded man sitting at the table next to us at Cora’s was Santa. She literally
wouldn’t drop it. I’m sure the poor man trying to enjoy his breakfast thought
it was cute at first, but enough’s enough. That’s kids for you though; they
just say whatever is on their minds. Come to think of it, I know a lot of
adults who suffer from the same affliction. Maybe it’s a lack of self-awareness
that prevents one from outgrowing this stage. Regardless, the only time you can
really get away with not having a filter is when you’re too young to know any
better. After a certain age I think you evolve into plain and simple ignorance. And really, while many often
blame the fact that they “don’t have a
filter” when they say something stupid; unless they’re two, it’s a terrible
excuse.
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